Rules about dating my teenage daughter

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Bruce Cameron Please do not remove the copyright from this essay When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend? But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi.

s father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter? He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter? If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.

Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. One of the best French door fridges we've tested A good-looking fridge with useful features like an auto-filling water pitcher and a temperature-adjustable "Flex Zone" drawer.

In short, sharply observed vignettes, he touches a middle-aged-male nerve by describing the rage and bewilderment of having little girls turn into teenage monsters, but every complaint is punctured by a self-deprecating regular-guy-in-a-mad-world irony.

re stupid, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?? Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight.

LOST CHAPTER: Read the excerpt "That big Ten Commandments monument has been removed from the courthouse in Alabama.

It's been replaced, I believe, with eight simple rules for dating my daughter." "The book 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter is hysterically funny and universally entertaining.

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